O Sweet Bandwagon

Why yes, I am playing Spiderman 2. And I know the ten people who read/might accidently get here are wondering- Yes it is a damn fine little game. The GTA comparison is obvious, and not insulting. But what I really can't wait on is Spiderman 3. Because when they add some spice to the random events, and make there be a little bit more to do in the city, this game will rule. How about a MMORPG of this? Can you wrap your head around how cool that would be? City of Heroes, pshahh.

Just so I can turn this blog into only a discussion about Penny Arcade stuff, let me mention CoH. This guy I work with is like the dictionary definition of Player, Everquest. You can actually see how he's doing in the game based on the layers of filth on him. He started raving at me months ago about this City of Heroes. I was immediately nervous- the idea of doing some Superheroics in a universe such as that the game never actually ends scares me quite a bit. I look at this guy I work with and wonder if
I'm one really good MMORPG away from that.

So you can keep your tasty treat. I'll just become a recluse who plays NCAA 2005 with idiot kids from Michigan. That'll show you.

No games

Nothing is begging me to play this week. I got my hands on T.H.U.G., ie Tony Hawk 5, but I haven't even put it in the Box. Saw Fahrenheit 9/11 and went from pissed off to sad to pissed off to disgusted. I'm not going to use this as a political forum (God knows the internet needs another guy spouting off their politics) but it was a pretty fucked up experience. Moore goes from bitching about the lack of security on airlines to the oppressive Patriot Act in like 15 minutes. What am I supposed to get from this? Do we need more security or less? The whole thing felt like I was watching the masterbatory fantasies of some fat left wing dude.

Hmm.

I'm moving next month so I face one of those dilemmas, you know, what wireless networking to buy. We all face that. I'm also considering a Tivo, because renting the DVR from the cable company has been one of those religious experiences that I can't really even put into words. I get home from work at 10:00 and 40 hours of Simpsons, Seinfeld, Chappelle, and whatever else struck my fancy is begging for me to watch. Watching things in real time makes me fidgety as I try to fast forward but can't.

I live a life full of suffering.

NCAA 2005: Now with Bullshit!

Ok. This blogging experience is completely new to me, and as such, the Sunday update schedule has already been thrown off by a day. Let’s just say that from now on, if you check this blog once a week, there will most likely be something new.

I was born and raised in Birmingham, Alabama. This isn’t just The South, this is the epicenter. And we really, really care about college football down here. Lets put it this way- when Bear Bryant, the beloved coach of the University of Alabama, died in 1983, we got out of school. Seriously.

Of course, I hate Alabama. I grew up an Auburn fan, and there is a really deep dislike of the University of Alabama, the town of Tuscaloosa, and even the revered Bear Bryant deep in my psyche. I really do hate them. I’m not going to list all the reasons, but if you are outside and reading this trying to figure out if I’m just throwing some cliché-ridden nonsense at you, I’m not. I really fucking hate them.

So it’s always great to play some college football of the video game variety. I have taken teams like Ball State and UAB (our local school here in Birmingham) and built them up expressly for the purpose of scheduling Alabama and beating the shit out of them in their own stadium.

Naturally I was excited when the first previews of NCAA 2005 starting hitting the net.

And there are some things that I can’t wait to see- EA finally sucking it up and getting on the Live bandwagon is a good thing. It isn’t even worth repeating that Live rules. It is kind of funny how everyone predicted utter destruction for the Xbox but now there really isn’t even a discussion to have- maybe we could have one about the PS2 controller being better, but I’m not even sure I can have that one anymore.

Shit I just digressed. Anyways, Live rules, EA knows it. It’s all good. But wait, and let me just quote from a preview on IGN:


“Homefield Advantage does a great job of recreating the benefits of having a massive crowd behind you. When on defense, the home team player can try and bring the crowd into the game. Tapping the "Homefield Advantage" button repeatedly increases the pumpitude of the crowd. In a giant house known for rabid fans, like Wisconsin's Camp Randall Stadium, this can cause your opponent's controller to rumble frantically and the screen to shake like an epileptic bobblehead.”


Well that sounds neat. Right? WRONG. Let’s see, I go buy NCAA 2005, throw it in, get my beloved UAB Blazers and jump on Live to find a game. What am I greeted with? 4000 jackasses with Tennessee or, God forbid, Florida fucking State waiting on me. And they all want to be the home team. And before EVERY play, they are jamming the “fuck with Chris” button like mad. Why wouldn’t they? They will- they'll break the button.

Maybe I’m overreacting- maybe they threw in some kind of limit to the amount you can do this. The IGN article doesn’t mention it- it goes on to talk about how the visiting team can lose their confidence, not hear audibles, etc. It just gets worse.

Why?

Why make it even more impossible for some little team to beat a bigger school? One of the best games I have ever heard (no TV for it) was last year when Northern Illinois beat Alabama. At Tuscaloosa. On Homecoming. Heh.

My point is that it appears they are actually trying to make the football game less fun. What use is it to have this hometown advantage shit? The preview blathers about the glory of the college game and how it is different from the pro game. I agree- and I even see the “realism” in the idea that the hometown team has an advantage- but I don’t see how the implementation I’ve read is going to be ANY FUN AT ALL.

I hope I’m wrong, or more importantly, I hope you can turn it off.

I've had it

So I'm playing Chronicle of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay.

CoR:EfBB as it is called among geeks is quite appealing. I have nothing bad to say about it. As a sick habit I frequent this site and read quite a wide swath of other people's opinions. This can be quite disruptive to my own opinions, yet still I come back. CoR (to abbreviate the abbreviation) is a perfect example why I should never, ever believe the reviews. Do you know the number one issue with this game? "It is too short". I read that countless times. So now, when I am playing the game I am always a little nervous- is this thing about to end? At least twice I was scared shitless that I had reached the end of the road. The problem, as I see it, is that the people reviewing these games do NOTHING BUT REVIEW AND PLAY GAMES. Therefore, someone like me, who actually has to work 40 hours a week, cannot derive any sense of what "too short" is to these jackasses.

In fact, my biggest complaint about a game like, oh I don't know, this bastard is that it has made me feel quite inadequate. I'm on level FIVE. And I'm done with it. It is sitting on the shelf, mocking me. My coworker is coming in, telling me about the giant fucking worms he's fighting, and I can't get past the stupid tentacle monster.

So I'm a bitch. Give me a nice little video game, let me stab some fools with a shiv, but don't keep me out all night.

CoR isn't too short. You're just a big dork.

We live in an insane epoch

i think stalin said it, but i'm having trouble actually finding the quote. maybe i made it up.